Alli Sims, Britney’s cousin and assistant (is she still an assistant? Are they talking? What’s the story there? God, can we please have an update on that?) has finally launched her own personal music career by way of her own website and boy is it a treat.
First up, when you go and visit AlliSims.com you’re greeted by the innocuous yet passable and more or less on key cover of “On My Own” from Les Miserables. You’re greeted by it and then very quickly you’re bludgeoned by it. All the while, like in a suspense film, you’re searching desperately to figure out how to turn it off. Oh, I’m being mean, it’s not hard to find the off button – just look in the upper left hand corner.
Quite an appropriate choice for young Sims because now she really is …on her own. She’s on her own out there in the world that crippled her cousin Britney and there’s really no evidence to suggest that her upbringing was any different from the classless, white trash, trailer park cultural travesty of Britney which means that it’s highly likely that at some point, she’ll have the same basic breakdown. She’s certainly setting herself up to fall pretty far.
Sure the images of her on the allisims.com have her looking like a surrealist mixture of leather clad dungeon master meets truck stop diner waitress and part time 80s b-grade swimsuit model but there’s just enough repression going on that she’s ultimately a one dimensional heavily diluted sex object that can sing populist songs.
She’s also smart though because if you race through the easy to consume bio paragraph, there isn’t a single mention of the Brit meister and we can only guess that that’s because she’s trying to wash off the residual dirt. The dirt of Britney’s confused and unbalanced humanity. Watch out Ashley Tinsdale, there’s a new kid in town and this time, she's family. [source]
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