Monday, August 13, 2007

Today In Extraordinarily Odd

300 chickens died of panic in Germany after a drunken teenager drove a van into their pen. Apparently they didn’t die from being run over, they all panicked and got all flustered. "Apparently some of the chickens were so desperate to get away that they ran into the wall and died," the spokesman said. "Others suffered heart attacks." Even though its ultimately not that funny that the chickens died as a result of stupid behaviour, it is funny on some level because the general course of events can be made funnier if you recast all the characters involved. If those chickens were humans, you just KNOW they’d be a group of middle class, Christian mothers who get together to talk about their children and to gossip and probably alienate the new neighbour and the van would have been a gay porn star who was high on crystal meth and was on a delusional rampage. The running into walls parts stays as it is in the script. [source]

Bosnian members of parliament are facing the prospect of behaving better or they’ll be fined. According to a new set of rules announced, Bosnian MPs are not allowed to talk on their cell phones or read the newspaper while in session. Luckily the rules stated nothing about farting while holding a microphone up to your ass so it’s audible even in the press gallery or bringing a goat to work. Under the new code of conduct, deputies would not be allowed to talk on their phones or to each other on topics unrelated to the discussion, or work on their laptops thus making parliament more like a third grade reading class than every before. [source]

While we’re on the topic of Old World stereotypes, it’s been reported in a rather comical manner that a Greek shepherd now herds sheep using his car. As though this is some kind of surprise. My how quickly we forget certain crucial details like, say, the fact that Greece hosted the freaking Olympics three years ago, it’s not like they’re stuck in a century where in every other way they work hard to emulate their ancient relatives by wearing draped cloth and worshiping a pantheon of gods while championing the cause of man love. What were they supposed to do; charge naked on horse back through the flock with the head of the medusa on a pole hoping that the lambs who didn’t turn into stone would wander in the right direction. Well, now actually, that could boost tourism. I shall write THAT down and e mail it to Greece. Actually, maybe I’ll fax it. [source]

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