Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

While it’s Tuesday, it is already shaping up to be a pretty slow week. I mean, Hayden Panettiere was on Letterman for Christ’s sake. That’s why this next bit of religious panic is a interesting but at the same time utterly appalling. Religious panic is done really really well by the hateful Muslims who practice sharia and the fact that they are currently trying a group of 18 men in Nigeria for dressing up as women is not just extraordinarily odd, it’s rancid. They made bail and people protested. Who knows what they were protesting – you know what, maybe they were all just desperately jealous that they weren’t invited to the freaking party. Yeah, this one wasn’t that funny. [source]

A German woman decided to go and pay her respects to a dead relative. Ok, sure. So, she got in her car and drove to the graveyard. Oh, it all sounds fine so far doesn’t it? Well, that’s because I haven’t explained that she was maddeningly drunk and charged through that graveyard like a freaking psychopath maniac smashing headstones and eventually she apparently landed in one. You don’t get to the point where you’re essentially re-enacting scenes out of Beetlejuice in real life unless you’re really hammering it out for a long time. Maybe the fact that she literally landed in an actual grave will serve as an omen. The Germans have been light on nudity and heavy on car disasters recently. Funny…[source]

Joy Horton was casually preparing dinner in her home in New York and she dropped a spoon. She bent down to pick it up and suddenly her house exploded. She wasn’t hurt and there is a rational explanation for this but so far no one knows why her house exploded. That means, for the moment, we have no choice but to consider this a Tom and Jerry cartoon happening in real life. The report says she freaking crawled out from the rubble and walked to her daughter’s house. Her house exploded so she walked to get help. I hope she brushed off some of the debris. It simply wouldn’t do to be seen out in public with black soot on one’s face and smoke coming out of the back of one’s head. Especially with the Ladies Baking Auxiliary in town to judge who has the best scones. Oh, who am I kidding, if this is a Tom and Jerry cartoon, she isn’t even a real person anyway. She’s just a pair of quite dominating legs. [source]

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