Monday, August 27, 2007

What started out as a story that was sort of immediately tossed aside as another celebrity entering "treatment" for "dehydration" has actually become Owen Wilson being legitimately hospitalized for a suicide attempt early this morning. Hello, where did that come from?
It’s staggering to note the difference between the squeaky, one dimensional constructed persona constructed for the purposes of marketing in Hollywood. Wasn’t he always the happy go lucky, sort of funny, surfer guy? Well, ok, hang on, he’s not dead – he was put in hospital and is recovering in Beverly Hills Hospital.

This is sort of like what happened with the Brady Bunch. It was all happy, smiling, suburban and neat on the outside, all squeaky and one dimensionally safe. Then Mr. Brady died of AIDS, something snapped in Florence Henderson and she never seemed capable of turning off the America’s Stay at Home Mom angle, Marcia Brady became obese, Christopher Knight stopped being cute, stacked the weight on and married a sort of whore after doing f-list reality TV and where are the others? I mean, they’re somewhere but who has the time or energy to find out?
With a story like this you’d think the National Enquirer wouldn’t be hard up for news but if you take a gander down at the list of stories apparently related to Owen Wilson’s tragic suicide attempt, you’ll see an interesting little item that says, “Do you think Clay Aiken is gay?”. If that isn’t filler I don’t know what is. That’s the spray-in concrete of news stories. Is there anyone left in the world who isn’t either indifferent to Clay Aiken’s sexuality, repulsed by it, in denial of it, a victim of it or unsure who Clay Aiken is? I think we’ve cleared up where the world stands with reference to the Ache-meister’s sexual proclivities.
But regardless, what’s the Enquirer’s point? That Wilson suddenly clicked and realized Aiken was gay and then couldn’t take it anymore? What an odd perspective.
So, in short; Owen Wilson attempted suicide through a drug overdose and by cutting his wrists.

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