The Reluctant Whore

The New York Daily News reports that Liza Minnelli went into a Gap store on the corner of Third Avenue and 60th Street to try on a pair of pants and the retail assistant couldn’t quite figure out who she was. That was until the retail assistant realized she was Judy Garland and wouldn’t let up:

"The employee asked her, 'Has anyone ever told you you look like Judy Garland?'" says the snitch. "

She coldly answered, 'No!'"

You'd leave it alone after that, right?

"The confused employee went on to say, 'Oh my God! You're her! You are Judy Garland!'"

Oh. No. She. Didn't.

"Ms. Minnelli looked up with fire in her eyes and snapped back, 'Judy Garland is dead!'"
She then grabbed the pants she had been trying on "and stated to no one in particular, 'I've gotta get out of here!' She made a mad dash to the registers and then out the door."

To be fair it could have gone either way with Liza; one minute she’s hawking her dead mother’s memory while singing “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” in concert, the next minute she’s running out of a Gap on the Upper East Side trying to escape it. It’s so endearingly melodramatic for no reason. Plus, what’s the bet she ran home, put a peg on her nose and called Ben Widdicombe to give him the scoop herself?

HOWEVER, potential cultural faux pas aside, what the hell kind of fashion retail assistant doesn’t know who Liza Minnelli is? Where the hell are they finding these kids? There are really only a few things you need to work in fashion retail: a predictable, fear based interest in the surface exterior, a predictable fear based bitchiness (yes, clearly that helps in a lot of career paths), a brain that can consistently embrace data entry and/or garment folding, a popped collar and working knowledge and personal affinity for hectic showbiz women. Anyone who still works in fashion retail without those pre-requisites is just filler.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’ll be a dark day in New York City when Liza Minnelli dies. [source]