Thursday, August 09, 2007

In her admittedly impressive quest to dominate the languid arena of rocker women who appeal to the rebellious, cigarette smoking, parent ignoring, odd sock wearing 14 year old girl contingent now that Pink seems to have worked some childhood emotional crap out and Avril Lavigne is genuinely afraid of and hiding from her product nemesis, Britney Spears - Amy Winehouse has been checked into hospital for “exhaustion”.

Are celebrities really still using the word “exhaustion”? I mean, are they REALLY?
Even the tired old skeletal hanger on Nicole Ritchie who sort of pioneered the use of “exhaustion” to cover up her eating disorder doesn’t say “Oh, I’m exhausted” the day after a coke binge anymore.
But ok, maybe there’s some truth to it this time. That’s the only real reason I can think of that a publicist would actually say the word “exhausted” at this point and not expect to be laughed out of the next PR PR Person’s Awards Dinner of the Month Lunch. There have certainly been reports that Winehouse has been existing on a diet of lollipops and arguments with her psychotic boyfriend. If that is true, she may well be exhausted. She certainly hasn’t had the energy or focus to change her god damned shoes in what seems like six months and it’s not like she can’t afford to.
It's got to get exhausting maintaining a rigorous touring schedule, while still fitting in a magnum of cheap Shiraz each night as a nightcap/mouthwash while ducking from the lamps her boyfriend throws at her as he lovingly tries to hit the gap in her teeth. When you couple that with the fact that she has no meat on her frame so it’s not like there’s anything in her body to burn up and that lamp ducking is sure to be high impact aerobic exercise, perhaps it's no wonder she is exhausted.
Indeed, most of her ethereal, admittedly quite extraordinary power is rumoured to be stored in her hair and that, as we know, is dead. Like fingernails.

Actually, maybe the headline should have read: Amy Winehouse, exhausted. No, really. This time we actually mean it. [source]

No comments: