So, clearly, when it comes to celebrity convictions, the weeks run hot and cold. Paris Hilton gets three weeks in jail for driving under the influence where her blood alcohol level was equal with the limit and without a license and Nicole Ritchie goes into jail for 82 minutes after she got stoned and out of it on vicadin and drove the wrong way down a highway and Lohan gets 24 hours in jail for becoming a celebubeast and charging recklessly through LA shrieking like a harpy and breaking someone’s foot.
The way it’s played out for Ritchie is rather interesting though for other reasons. It seems like this is her turn to go through the Paris Hilton extravaganza but, just like her sex appeal on the Simple Life pre-eating disorder, she’s playing second fiddle to Paris Hilton the whole time. She gets less jail time and less attention from the press – TMZ posted 13 separate posts in their blow by blow coverage of Hilton emerging from Prison but they only posted 6 and that’s including her going in and coming out.
It’s actually hard to think of more to say about Nicole Ritchie because she’s so utterly non-existent. She exists in relation to Paris Hilton who barely exists beyond her physical presence and the odd trademarked soundbyte. When she was fat she had to be funny so she could get attention from the boys who would ignore her because Paris just soaked it all up. Then she starved herself marketable after seeing what her gut looked like on TV and she became even less interesting.
God, she didn’t even get a chance to get broom handled in prison by some lesbians. That would have given her some kind of edgy street cred. So, at this point, we’ve got 82 minutes in prison a dog named freaking Honey Child and a sort of portly rock star husband who claims he’s morally conservative. See, this is why I never post about Nicole Ritchie. Great hair I guess though. Yeah, she has …ah…she has great hair. [source]