Monday, August 06, 2007

Today In Extraordinarily Odd

A German woman who has lived with a pencil inside her head since it was stabbed in there at aged 4 as a result of a fall has finally had it removed after 55 years of headaches and nosebleeds. One can only assume she’d grown out of the particular sexual fetish she had for throbbing, blood soaked head pain and wanted to move on with her life. Ok, yeah, great…another weirdo German sex joke. Ha ha. God. [source]

In an attempt to cover up the stench of self medicated, depressed English people, various chains of pubs in the UK are looking into “freshening” the air of their establishments with certain air fresheners. So, it’s interesting timing that they would choose to do that as well because Kate Moss is just about ready to launch her fragrance – no doubt to cover up her own particular brand of crippling English sadness (oh, ok…her crippling sadness is really based on the tremendous insecurity that drove her to be a famous model in the first place) with a little olfactory stimulation. Good old sense of smell. IS there anything is can’t distract us from? [source] [source]

As I’ve pointed out for literally years now, the Chinese often do some rather interesting things that, outside the no doubt chaotic whirl of existence inside China, defy outside logic. One thing that, no matter how many times it is explained to me, will ever make any more sense is the recent governmental ruling that prohibits the sale of crispy Chinese duck near Chinese toilets. This is all for the Olympics of course. I’m not sure there’s much more I can say about this without losing it. Emotionally. [source]

Thai cops who mess up in the line of duty (and not in terms of unwitting failure – just in situations where they really had a choice and chose to behave badly) are being made to wear glittering, emasculating Hello Kitty arm bands. It’s alarming that the face of the cute little, round headed Japanese cat somehow represents character assassination to Thai cops but then that’s what masculine anxiety does to you. You’re endlessly afraid of being raped. My question here is, “Why didn’t they choose one of the other characters, like Landry, instead of the easily recognizable Hello Kitty.” Landry is more or less the same size and shape according to the Sanrio website he likes “listening to Mozart” and also enjoys “washing anything he can get his hands on”. How about the sullied soul of a corrupt cop with blood money in his pocket, Landry? Can you wash away those Hell magnets? We can only hope. [source] [source]

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