The Reluctant Whore

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have come out with a dancey new single and you know, it’s just the ticket to drag me away from the mirror and the razor blade. Listen to it here and let the amazement begin.

If you listen to the interview prior to the single you get to hear Montag wax lyrical about it. Best line ever:

“It’s kind of its own genre in a way…”

Yeah, giving your own single a genre all its own within art could be considered mildly ambitious. What certainly deserves to have its own genre is the extraordinary extent to which Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s egos and total and utter lack of self awareness or irony extends. That may, in fact, qualify for its own zip code.

The thing about the track is that it's not that bad but you know that's only because it's been crafted and refined by machines and technicians so that it is chemically impossible to really dislike. It's just like cheap, white flour and high fructose corn syrup based cake.

What really clinches the chronically evil nature of their single is the fact that Spencer Pratt himself actually raps on it. He’s white and he’s fake and he raps. At this point it’s safe to assume that even if he doesn’t get it, someone gets the fact that he can make a lot of money if he manages to muster up the rage filled disapproval of the universe and they’re going as hard as they possible can. There’s a fascinatingly telling and deep interview with the two of them [here]

The only time I have posted about Spencer Pratt prior to this was when I pointed out a while back that his last name was really just the most blatant indicator of the core essence of who he is. Beyond that, there’s not much else to actually say here. You’d think that that would be enough to capture the core elements that make up Spencer Pratt and for several months it has been.

And yet, here we are again, with a shovel, digging deeper, down into the rank quagmire that is the pit of standards we’ve come to expect from the Z-List bottom feeder and his equally horrific wife, Heidi Montag.