Friday, August 31, 2007

Britney is rich despite not working and being insane and this is a surprise, how?

The Daily Mail in the UK reports that details of Britney’s income have been leaked thanks to the child custody battle between her and K-Fed. She makes over $700,000 a month in residuals and income from her perfumes and whatever the hell else she stamped her squeaky name to before “the unpleasantness” began and yet she appears to do nothing but eat and fall over all day.

The funny thing about this is that while people might be surprised at how much she rakes in when all she seems to do is hemorrhage cash, drop her kids on the cement as she lights cigarettes and detangles the rib bones from her melted on hair while lying around hotel pools drunk and naked, you have to remember that the only reason she really IS completely insane is because up until last year, she was actually an essentially successful example of someone who has played the game from an early age.
She was sort of like those freakishly controlled North Vietnamese children who are able to stand very very still and smile without flinching – the ones who look like dolls. She was able to control every aspect of her public persona and she also allowed corporate executives to form her into a product it was virtually impossible to dislike based on probably some of the most detailed and expensive market research ever conducted. Britney signed her name in all the right places and now she’s a functioning product that even a meltdown, shaved head, total sexual disclosure, childbirth, a deadweight white trash moocher for a husband and destroyed innocence can’t unravel. It’s the tradeoff.
You have to become a doll but even if you have a breakdown you can still essentially rake in the dough without doing anything. It’s sort of the American dream. [source]

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