Friday, August 31, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd
Just when you think inane, shrill, suburban parents who have nothing else to live for but petty procedure and soul destroying denial have been defeated once and for all, another thing in the playground gets banned. The game of tag was banned at a school in Colorado because it apparently “promoted conflict”. What certainly doesn’t “promote conflict” though is overbearing rules and regulations on kids who were really just playing the playground. It’s time now for us to say hello to most of tomorrow’s serial killers. [source]
As part of their attempt to ready the metropolis of Beijing for the Olympics next year, the Chinese government are cracking down on all sorts of vastly important crap. One things they’ve done is overhauled menus in China that feature dishes such as “Virgin Chicken” and, in doing so, they’ve probably hobbled the industry surrounding pederast sex tours of Asia which, admittedly is a good thing. I, however, still can’t get over the fact that they have banned crispy duck at public toilets. Why? WHY? The person who invented that was a hero. He was a true global hero and now his work is gone forever. [source]
The Shaolin Temple in China has demanded an apology from some random internet user who claimed that the kung fu masters had been beaten by a Japanese ninja once. Because that’s really important. It’s really important what one 14 year old computer nerd from wherever the hell he’s from says about a martial arts group that has been around since 495 AD. But who knows why they are on this war path. Maybe they’re simply gearing up for a publicity campaign a la Mel B or Kim Cattrall where any publicity is good publicity. [source]
A thief in New Zealand stole several items from a home and then, later in the day returned them all with an apology for having stolen from them:
"I have never written truer words when I say that I wish that I had never done this to you and your family," the note read. "From the bottom of my heart I am sorry."
Look, that’s all very well in terms of it being a heart warming story of angst avoided but can we just stop and think about what a pathetic failure of a thief he is? I mean, what a failure. I bet he’s something really passive in every day life. Like a basket weaver or a plastic plant designer. God, I need a martini. [source]

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