London’s Daily Mail has made the astonishing discovery that Britney Spears went out for dinner the other night was badly dressed and they’ve thankfully reported it straight away. They even went so far as to describe her outfit as “sheer fashion madness”. This is what we call a both excellent and timely call. There’s also a little pun there because she was wearing a sheer gown. There’s a little bit of clever literary manipulation if you have a closer look. Sheer is used in both its meanings…oh forget it.
Apart from the fact that it’s blatantly obvious that Britney Spears dressing badly is rapidly becoming part of the scenery in LA as opposed to a notable observation, one reason it’s ok that the Daily Mail gave this story a headline is because it’s funny if you read the article in an assertive, gutty level yet educated English celebrity culture reporter accent. The kind like Dani Behr who was the host of Boy Meets Boy in 2004 until she all of a sudden just wasn’t – mid series. That accent is sort of mean and unforgiving and so when you consider the entire package, its fine.
Plus, also, can we just notice that the shot of her from behind makes her look like a math teacher passing out test papers - especially with those shoes on. I think it's the tremendous stride she has coupled with the black heels. Well, it's a math teacher and hooker aesthetic when you consider the no underwear thing...
The article then goes on to describe how Britney is a terrible, ill-equipped mother who is ruining her kid’s teeth because she just feeds him juice all the time. So, really - when you get down to it – the sheer dress was just an excuse for sheer unadulterated character criticism. Oh, how cunning of ME to use the word “sheer”. [source]