Monday, August 13, 2007

So Amy Winehouse really did, surprise surprise, end up collapsing from a drug overdose as opposed to the highly convincing original cause as per her publicist: “exhaustion”. She’s out of “hospital” now. Not rehab.

The fact that she’s not dead after ingesting a combination of heroin, ecstasy, cocaine and the horse tranquiliser ketamine that in any other circumstance might possibly kill a pachyderm is testament to the fact that she’s clearly been shoveling that crap into her veins, probably with a trowel, for ages and has worn down her sensitivity to it over time but actually that’s not the most important part of the story.
The most important part of the story here, at least the way it was reported in the UK’s Daily Mail is that there’s only one mention of the notion of “rehab” and it’s from Winehouse herself, explaining that “rehab is a copout” .
There will be, without question, nothing more unbearable in the coming weeks or months, than reportage surrounding Winehouse entering rehab (if she does so or you know what? Even around this freaking story) and the subsequent field day that smug, cutesy journalists have with the story that Winehouse, who said that she would never go to rehab, no no no…went into rehab.
My God, you can just see the shit eating grin on the rancid assed Fox News anchors’ faces for Good Day New York as they breathlessly read the endless lines of pun laden headlines outlining the hilarious irony of Winehouse going into rehab. The rapid fire puns and journalistic self indulgence will occur in a way not seen since journalists thought it was funny to write articles about the Borat Movie in the same pseudo-dialect of Borat himself. Interestingly enough, it’s not funny to do that – it’s more or less on par with being a political science student and reciting Monty Python sketches in between bursts of snort-based laughter.
But, repeat they will until “Winehouse” and “rehab” just join the lexicon of specific words we can’t really hear anymore due to their relentless repetition in the public sphere. Words like, “Lohan”, “Little Baby Dannielynn”, “Hilton”, “Ritchie” and so on. Wait, “rehab” was always in there. I think “rehab” was the founding member of that particular lexicon.
In light of that, can I just point out that Winehouse’s husband Blake Fielder-Civil, is literally named “Civil” and yet, most reports of him suggest that he’s anything but. My goodness, how deliciously clever of me to point that out. I deserve new shoes and a martini based lunch! [source]

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