Friday, August 10, 2007

It’s puzzling that stories of Ashlee Simpson’s obvious soul encompassing insecurity hasn’t gotten more press until now. If anyone was a nattering, nagging fishwife she is. But, anyway, here it is, fresh: Page Six reports that every time some young women fans tried to get a photo of themselves with Pete Wentz at the recent Blender Sessions at the Hard Rock Hotel in Chicago, Ashlee Simpson would start to whine and drag him away.
Why hasn’t the whole needy jealousy thing been an issue that anyone has reported on before? Ashlee Simpson has got to be one of the most tired, generic looking, fake assed pop tart wannabes - maybe ever. The only thing original about her was her strangely bulbous nose which, when she noticed it, she immediately had shaved down to an innocuous Barbie point – just so she could fit in even more and be even more marketably bland. When you think about it, she really is just a less successful version of her sister – so much so that she actually started out with black hair just so we could tell them apart but then gravitated toward the blonde paycheck. Anyone who does anything that lamely apologetic has got to have a few caverns lurking in the shallow puddle that makes up their soul.
You just can’t really couple an eyelash batting, head down/eyes up, smirking and needy Ashlee Simpson with a Pete Wentz, the omni sexual, faux emo rocker whose main point is that he’s edgy and unpredictable and in fact might be attracted to guys or might not – he’s just gonna keep us hanging but in the meantime he’ll definitely wear eyeliner as long as his male fan base don’t get too freaked out. Wentz plays the hot muse gutter whore. Anything that detracts from that detracts from his power. Their basic corporate identities have got to get in the way of the notion of a relationship at some point.

This relationship has ten minutes left on it.

No comments: