Friday, August 10, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

A three ton meteorite has gone missing from a yard in Siberia and Russian police are just stumped about who might have it. No one has any idea where it might possibly be and you know, it is a bit of a headache this case isn’t it? I mean, where COULD three tons of intergalactic rock go in a second. The only thing I can think of is that a mutated band of Russian lesbian shot putters got drunk on paint stripper and went out for a bit of a training session and they threw it somewhere. Those Russian lesbian shot putters can throw anything anywhere. Or, you know, a bear ate it. Some kind of bear. I must now immediately e mail the Russian police my two suggestions. [source]

An English former spy, David Shayler, has come out and said that finally, after all these years, he realizes that all along he was a mystic vessel for the Messiah and that he has mystical powers. He has claimed that his magic powers include being able to change the weather and that he was responsible for the failure of the Glasgow car bombings in June – he apparently meditated on it for a while and thwarted the entire thing. Let’s just gently put aside the basic, generally accepted fact that people who have what could loosely be described as a “god complex” are almost always unhinged – unless they’re just maddeningly arrogant trust fund hipsters majoring in political science at NYU. Ok? We’ll put that aside. The best part about this article is the mention of the BBC sportscaster who, while wearing a lilac tracksuit on air, proclaimed himself the son of god. Excellent work! And also, the fact that Shayler was quoted as saying, "Do I look mentally ill? Do I sound mentally ill?”. Short answer: yes. [source]

Who the hell turns up to a driving lesson drunk ? Also, who the hell turns up to TEACH a driving lesson, discovers the student to be drunk and then actually lets them drive? Well, no one ordinarily but it actually still happened. That’s why it’s in the Extraordinarily Odd section. A woman in Naples, Florida was trying to reverse and when she hit the accelerator, she ended up knocking over the instructor, driving over his legs (breaking them) and the driving around in a circle breaking a couple of other things, buildings etc. The instructor is now in hospital and the woman, well, is in jail. That’s what happens when you make ridiculous decisions and you leave the house. [source]


Olly Onions said...

Anonymous said...

'The BBC sportscaster' is none other than the world famous David Icke, he of 'interdimensional reptilian rulers' fame.

You have to be up on these things.