The Reluctant Whore

It's been a while since the Anna Nicole files were opened with any real news but here goes. For some reason, Superior Court Judge Mitchell L. Beckloff has issued a temporary restraining order on the release of the film footage of Anna Nicole Smith getting breast implants and it is, as a result, a sad day. We were so close to finding out just how to make one of those for ourselves and suddenly BANG, bureaucratic roadblock. How typical.

A Texan doctor had apparently handed the tape over to a memorabilia dealer in LA. Apparently LA isn’t the only place that people with otherwise quite prestigious jobs secretly yearn for celebrity recognition.

Thankfully, we already have the video of Anna Nicole giving birth through c-section. The footage of her squealing in pain as she realized they’ve cut open her stomach without enough anaesthetic should hopefully be enough to tide everyone over. If it gets old, just replay it with a different song on in the background and volume down. It’s like a horror film but in real life.
Entertainment Tonight managed to broadcast it with their own particular, genius brand of synthetic thoughtfulness branded all over it. Warning: It’s difficult to watch this because it gets pretty graphic and exploitative and also because this is truly Entertainment Tonight at its most nauseatingly low.

Anna Nicole Smith is an extraordinary character for a number of reasons but one of them is because as her death edged closer the amount of coverage that focused just on the physical decomposition of her, at that point, still live body was extraordinary. Her weight was always focused on, she always seemed physically ill and dehydrated from all the diet pills she took – whenever she talked on camera during the final weeks her face and lips had to be smeared in lip gloss and industrial strength foundation/spackle to maintain the illusion of a healthy level of bodily hydration.

Then, after she died it was on for young and old with the reportage of her seemingly endless list of diseases and medications. The methodone, the injection points that turned into abscesses on her ass, the breast implant surgery that hadn’t healed, the anti-biotics, the fact that all her fridge had in it was Trim Spa and diet shakes… all of it just screamed disease, malnutrition and infection.

Actually, remember how we all had a good laugh at the time about how her body finally had started to catch up with the state of her soul? Oh, good times. Good times.

But don’t worry young girls around the world who are understandably obsessive about their weight at aged 10 and who won’t go out in public without fake tan and lipstick on and who know how to use youtube, the ban is only temporary. Your very own “how to” guide to being d-list truck stop whore is not completely out of reach. The protection of the subject matter is only technically to be kept confidential during the patient’s lifetime. Why not hold your breath? [source]