A German Fashion Model moved into a new apartment and has been waiting for three months for a phone line to be installed. The big hilarious irony is that she’s also the face of German Telekom so of course, you’d expect that they’d you know…try and get her telephone service. She was quoted as saying:
"I'll give them another week but that's it. After that, I'm going to switch to another provider," the model said.
While that makes her out to be a diplomatic spokesperson for her employer, what it doesn’t do is paint a more inane picture of what went on which I will delightfully do right now.
The three month period isn’t really the extraordinary period of time it has taken for German Telekom to get to her, it’s the amount of time it’s taken her to actually get through the instructions on how to open the box with her phone in it. Then, after she did that she sat in a chair looking up at the ceiling, reflecting on her achievements. [source]
A giant Lego man has washed up on the shore in Holland. According to witnesses, it came from the direction of England. On one level this is really embarrassing for England and for Lego because they shouldn’t be dumping their giant trash in the sea but on another level it seems that what we really have here is a plot – hatched through a collaborative effort between a group of evil giant squid and evil tiny Englishmen. It’s sort of a modern day Trojan Horse if you will. Tiny, aggressive Englishmen pile into the hollowed out Lego man and then their sea dwelling mollusk friends propel them toward the enemies. I’m not sure why the beach-dwelling-Dutch are the enemy yet but give me another shot of corn syrup and I’ll come up with something. [source]
A whole lot of people gathered in France over the weekend to scarf down as many garlic butter soaked snails as they possibly could and in the end they managed to eat 100,800 of the slippery mothers. This is the most amount of snails eaten in one sitting and it’s also important to note that the chefs who prepared the snails used a half a metric tonne of butter. That probably means that since Sunday afternoon there have been an inordinate number of people in France sitting emptying their bowels of churned up garden snail carcass while maybe drawing ever closer to a fatal coronary. Nothing that has happened this week has been more calming and elegant than this story. [source]