The Reluctant Whore

Something really must be up with Paris Hilton – as in, she really IS becoming more realistically boring to the media because Barron Hilton, the sweet assed brother of the trash-fest celebubeast but wilting American zeitgeist was noticed somewhere and so the Daily News wrote about it. The only time that happens is when the press wants some Paris but he’s the next best thing.

The last time the New York gossip writers wrote about Barron Hilton was back when Paris was in jail and they couldn’t obsess over what she was wearing or what dog she’d nearly killed through neglect so they ran a little piece about how Barron – whose age was speculated about because no one thought to call his family’s army of publicists – had been held up at knife point. The story was still used as a way of obsessing over Paris anyway but they just had to find an entry point. One would think that with Paris, looking for an entry point wouldn’t be so difficult that you have to actually rope in her brother.

Back when Paris was coming out of jail, too, there were three people in the SUV containing the people who went to get her; Kathy and Rick and Barron. When the TMZ reporters asked who he was Kathy replied, “It’s just Barron” and the nodded knowingly and moved on.

Is Barron Hilton that disappointing that he is only ever used as a contact point for his sister? Isn’t he in line for about the same basic amount of money? Plus, he’s got the sleek elegant looks of a porn star from the Czech Republic. What’s not to love?

Consequently, why is there no relentless pursuit of Barron? Or at least underwear catalogue for Ginch Gonch. “Ginch Gonch by the untainted Hilton”. It sells itself. [source]