Thursday, August 02, 2007

I wanted to blog about this yesterday but here it is today: what a clever girl Ashley Tisdale is. TMZ reports that, Tinsdale, a star of Disney's "High School Musical" and "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" has celebrated her 22nd birthday on the beach at a party that had no alcohol at it. There was a coffee bar and kayak rides and other sickeningly polite things to do in broad daylight on the beach.

What this actually means is that Tinsdale has picked up the untainted, inhuman pop tart product reins that were dropped so dramatically by Britney, Lohan and Paris, she’s wiped off the hair clippings, vomit and lesbian rape flavoured broom handle splinters and is attempting to take a step up with them. To become a big star, obviously.

America loves and probably will always love a pure, essentially inhuman, pretty girl that represents everything to do with ponies and myspace and high school (oh MY!) and nothing to do with explicit sex which is why, even at this point, the crippling agony of beauty pageants hasn’t been abolished.

But there’s a sincere gap in the market now that we’ve learned that Paris has all the components that make up a human being and that Britney is a white trash, emotionally complex mess and Lohan is a (probably bipolar) alcoholic and that all three have vaginas that have been broadcast to the universe.

There’s a gap and that gap needs to be filled, just like a dark and limitless emotional void. It needs something to fill it. So, cue the squeaky clean Tinsdale to launch herself as, as TMZ so rightly pointed out, the anti-Spears. The thing is, if Spears’ antic have shown anything at all about the capabilities of actual people – being that squeaky clean and marketable is only possible for so long. [source]

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