Monday, January 14, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Traditional Chinese roast duck chain Quanjude, which has already upset purists by changing its English name to "Quanjude Peking Roast Duck - Since 1864", has upset more with a plan to use electric ovens instead of wood. Ok, so first up I really don’t actually see what the problem is with changing the name of your store to include more information about what it is you actually do. Chinese people need to chill the hell out, ok, just calm down. As far as the wood thing goes, I’m not so sure what to think because I eat duck all the time but honestly, I just don’t know if it’s cooked with wood or electricity. Either way, the fact that the Beijing Olympics has actually caused the sale of crispy duck to be banned from outside of public restrooms is still something I don’t understand and I really feel like that’s a far more pressing issue. [source]

Cervelat sausage — a much-loved Swiss specialty — could be off the menu by the end of the year because of a lack of key ingredients, the country's meat producers said Monday and frankly, I’m astonished that the Swiss aren’t currently rioting in the streets, burning buildings and themselves while jumping out of windows. There’s nothing more pressing than culinary panic and apparently it’s sweeping the world what with the Chinese duck freak out currently going on. “We can't say precisely when stocks will run out, but some producers are telling us it could be as soon as this summer," said Balz Horber, a spokesman for the Swiss meat association. "Others are saying they might last till the end of the year." The untold panic and horror is admittedly incomprehensible. Prozac for everyone immediately. I kid. Sorry about your cultural unraveling, Switzerland. I’m sorry it’s so meat reliant. [source]

A German man threw himself out of a third storey window along with a Christmas tree during a late-night attempt to dispose of his festive decorations and while it’s not clear if he was actually committing suicide because it was the end of the festive season, it would seem likely. I am willing to make that my official take on the matter right now because while I am not a professional crime scene investigator nor am I a psychologist, nor have I met this man or have ever even BEEN to Germany, I still think it looks like a festive season based suicide attempt. He didn’t die after all though, he just sustained critical head injuries so presumably, life is meant to go on for him. Maybe that’s the lesson that we can all learn; life goes on after Christmas. I never would have believed it but now that I think about it, I guess I’d be dead if it weren’t true. What the hell am I talking about? [source]

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