Thursday, January 17, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Ex-cop Paul Soto of the NYPD was trying to sue the Police Department to get accidental disability retirement package because he said he was injured while walking around the corner but the judge ruled that he injured himself because he is morbidly obese. At 5’7 he weighs half an imperial ton. Gosh, that’s a lot isn’t it? The best part of this story is the way the New York Post managed to get in as many “fat” references as possible while simply telling the story.

“He weighs more than 500 pounds, but that wasn't enough to tip the scales of justice”

“Seelig said his corpulent client's career came to an end in March 2005”
“The pension board didn't swallow that argument”

“Gische found the board had weighed all the facts.”

“Soto's gun belt was an incredible 6 feet long, and his bosses would order him to take walks around the stationhouse for his own good.”

And my personal favorite:

"He's a very nice guy. He gives everybody chocolate at Christmas," said Natalie Nuñez, 16.”

Because that nice comment makes it all ok. [source]

Russia's military offered compensation to a homeowner after a small rocket veered off course and hit his country house outside Moscow and I think we all know that means. It essentially means that Donnie Darko is happening in real life in Russia right now. The only difference is that it was a rocket and not a piece of a plane. Now some kid is going to start to learn about time travel and Patrick Swayze will be accused of owning child porn. A whole lot of crap will happen that I don’t really understand but somehow I’ll still think it’s an incredible story and really worthwhile. I mean, it will be about love eventually, right? the damage was estimated to be about 60,000 roubles worth which is about $US2000[source]

Excommunicated African Archbishop Emmanuel Milingo took his campaign for a married priesthood to the Pope's backyard on Thursday at a raucous book presentation where supporters cheered him and critics shouted him down. This is what happens when priests finally let it all out. They sit there and are all “Oh well, it sort of balances out for me cause I have this job and it’s all about spirituality, the political weirdness of being Catholic is just unfortunate…” but then if you take away the structure they become more fun. This news reports suggests that he became famous as an exorcist in Rome and Africa. Sounds like someone has the potential to become a cult leader if only he’ll harness his full potential. [source]

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