Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

The owner of a small German computer company has fired three non-smoking workers because they were threatening to disturb the peace after they requested a smoke-free environment. I was beginning to think that the Germans were losing their mean edge what with the fact that last year they drank less per person than they ever have and the fact that the Austrians seem to be getting more and more press for being weirdos. It’s been months since a German rolled around in animal feces or insisted on attending the Opera naked. Even though this boss sounds like a total asshole, at least he’s keeping the dream of mean alive. [source]

Two men wheeled a dead man through the streets in an office chair to a check-cashing store and tried to cash his Social Security check before being arrested on fraud charges, police said. There’s actually nothing wrong with their plan though. THAT’S the part that really upsets me. I mean, if these guys can’t pull a fast one on the Department of Social Security by wheeling a corpse around the streets of Manhattan in order to cash his Social Security check then I really don’t see how anything can work. The flip side of this story is that it’s nice to see that since Boris Yeltsin and the Pope died the idea of attempting to use the old “Weekend At Bernie’s” routine to keep profiting hasn’t become completely unviable. The funny part about this is that the guys who did it probably only got caught at the last minute because New Yorkers probably just ignored the dead guy. [source]

A fluorescent pig in China has given birth to three fluorescent piglets. Scientists injected fluoro dye into the embryos and now they glow. On one hand, this kind of thing is a good safety measure because it means that if you’re eating pork in China you can check and see if it’s glowing to make sure it’s still pig. Although, South Korea just invented a glow in the dark cat so, we’re kind of still at square one. On the other hand, those piglets are going to grow up to be the pig equivalent of Peter Allen and they’ll probably marry the pig equivalent of Liza Minnelli in the hopes of over compensating for feeling totally different and weird around the school yard. Oh, that’s probably not going to happen though. These pigs are just being bred for their organs. Oh well, no traumatic future to avoided then. Well, except for the moment of slaughter. [source]

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