Monday, January 07, 2008 reports that Britney Spears tested drug and alcohol free when she was admitted to Cedars Sinai Hospital in an hysterical haze late last week. However, even though it takes them a full two paragraphs to mention that the story was originally published in the UK’s News of the World, the New York Post reports that she was, in fact, chock full of toxic crap. The Post even published a graphic that shows you all the things she put into herself to numb the crippling agony of self realization. As a matter of fact, here it is:

According to the Post via the News of the World (citing a source like that sort of completely removes any reasonable premise for even considering it a source but then, here we are anyway…) Brit took Nyquil, Redbull, vodka, diet pills, herbal uppers, anti-histamine, vicodin, sleeping pills, antacid pills, pepto bismol, Zantac and Ritalin. I love how the only source cited is "a source" .

Ok, so just as an aside, wouldn’t you more or less be exactly where you started if you took all that? I mean, there’s just as much pushing you up in that list as there is pulling you back down. She should technically be essentially lucid and ready for child rearing.

Meanwhile, who is to be believed? TMZ or the News of the World via the Post?

The answer is, who gives a shit? Reportage on Brit has been so frantic and inane for like a year now that even if neither is true, by the time she does something else like screw a paparazzi in the back of her car in a gas station using fried chicken grease as lube or vomits blood all over one of her kids and in doing so both extinguishes the child's cigar and blinds it from the acid in the bile that has mixed with the blood she is vomiting, the hyper active public consciousness will move on. What are the Spears family going to do anyway, sue for defamation? Which allegation? Brit and K-Fed tried that once regarding an alleged sex tape and the judge said that any defamation she could have experienced as a result of the leak of a sex tape couldn’t possibly be any worse that what she is responsible for herself.

Besides, they have so many kids to think about these days. They really should think of the children. [source] [source]

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