Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Gatecrasher reports that Jessica Simpson’s pushy ex-Reverend father Joe Simpson might be to blame for the fact that the Dallas Cowboys Tony Romo isn’t playing so well rather than Jessica Simpson herself. Apparently Joe Simpson might have tipped off the paparazzi about where Simpson and Romo might be so the family could get a cut of the cash earned from the sale of the photos.

That means that Joe Simpson would essentially be a pimp – which is no surprise. The interesting thing about this whole “Jessica Simpson is ruining the Dallas Cowboys” thing that simply won’t die is the fact that Jessica Simpson is seen as a generally applicable chaotic source of failure. She represents a certain failure that cannot be overcome. It’s a funny failure though because she’s still got that squeaky veneer of tanned, plastic skin, fake breasts, a fake white smile and long, life infused blond hair.
Most of the time when I see footage of Jessica Simpson half I expect for a piece of her face to fall off but she continues to smile as though it hasn’t. She kicks that piece of face under a chair or something. The smile and fake must continue for her career’s sake.

It still baffles me that the Dallas Cowboys aren’t being blamed for their own failure though. I mean, even if Simpson is there – consuming everyone’s energy the whole time – they’re the ones who are actually failing. This is why religion sucks. It’s the same basic thing. Oh look, we failed. Wait, it’s the dumb hooker’s fault. Persecute her. I mean, yes, persecute her but still…like it’s actually her fault. [source]

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