Wednesday, January 02, 2008

4 million people voted on aol and it was decided that Lindsay Lohan is the worst actress of 2007 which is pretty lame. She so wasn’t. Lindsay Lohan isn’t actually a bad actress, she’s just a trainwreck. And the thing is, the poll's results are predictably reminiscent of the kinds of values you have if you're an alpha male jock. Everything reeked of it.

28% of people who voted in this poll thought that the precitably homoerotic right wing propaganda film “300” was most worth their 10 dollars last year. Of course they did.

Physically inhuman stars like Angelina Jolie were top rated MILFs, breakout stars were people like Shia Lebeouf who is only visible because of the pointlessly vacant film, "Transformers", the innocuously male Matt Damon rates well, the attention seeking, petulantly and predictably subversive Marilyn Manson was part of the most unpopular couple. I mean, it's like high school social dynamics. Reward the innocuous, punish the subversive, fetishise the torturous, celebrate the mindless.

When it comes to Lohan, it's clear that voters can’t really distinguish between how badly an actress behaves in real life and how her performances were on screen. Lohan was actually good in Prairie Home Companion and Mean Girls.

What about Jessica Simpson in Blonde Ambition? I mean, Jesus, that film only made 1200 dollars in its opening weekend AND it looked like Simpson learned all her lines by having them read to her one at a time. A dyslexic cat could act better than Jessica Simpson but she's got one of the best racks in the world and she's inoffensively simple so she doesn't get cut down.

Whatever, I really think that in part, this year is all about the Chinese government having a nervous breakdown. That's what I'm going to be watching for. [source]

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