Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Great, so the psychic predictions for 2008 are in with the New York Post and with The Daily News and they’re all fine etc. I mean, it’s not like you can really call a psychic out and by the time the year is done no one can remember what they said anyway so it’s all just whatever it is.

Nikki, the Toronto based “psychic to the stars”, was consulted by the Daily News and apparently thinks there’ll be a terrorist attack on the Beijing Olympics (an overt one, not just the relentless cultural micro-managing that is happening in the lead up), Prince William or Harry will be kidnapped and Hilary Clinton will drop out of the presidential race due to health issues.

Cindy Adams from the New York Post enlisted the help of Psychic’s psychic, Wendy who predicts that Madonna will shave her head and Tom Cruise will hit a guy. That last one seems pretty reasonable. Actually both do. I can totally see Madonna trying to re-package the Britney madness with a topnote of esoteric Judaism to her own advantage and it’s also just a matter of time before the internal rage and freakiness that Tom Cruise pays so much to keep under wraps bursts out.

At highschool me and my gayer than hell friends would always counter bullying by clucking our tongues and saying, “violent is a sign of sexual frustration”. I mean, we mostly said it because it sounded clever and that was meant to alienate whatever dumbass was being aggressive rather than it actually having a full on application in that situation but it sort of would ring true with Cruise if he finally lashed out at a guy and then when he had him pinned, made out with him and the freaked out and ran away.

Of all the lists and everything though, my favourite is the outrageously witty comment published by Catherine50 on the Daily News’ website.

Catherine50 Jan 1, 2008 8:55:50 AM Hmmmm, I feel a prediction coming through...yes, yes, here it is! These predictions will not....come true! That was hard work, i hope they publish my predicitons.

Well, aren’t you just proud as punch this morning Catherine50. Look, they DID publish your predictions. Predicitons, too!

See, this is what happens when chronically boring people try. The thing is, she’s the funniest girl in the office and sometimes, she’ll go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, think about a particularly funny knock knock joke she just told in the board room in front of the CEO who laughed, probably in defense, and she’ll smile. She’ll smile because if only the people from elementary school who used to call her fat and pull her pigtails and laugh could see how successful she is now; working in middle management at a software company in Ithaca, NY a mere 2 hours drive from her one-bedroom apartment that was designed in the 70s. Sure, her job is just glorified data entry but she still has to wear a suit and that means she’s important. [source] [source]

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