Thursday, January 17, 2008

It’s been a while since the media did any reporting on the filth and rage that lurks in the underbelly perky, happy, successful, “always on”, Food Network star Rachel Ray’s soul and now that she’s back in the news it’s like a wonderful breath of fresh air.

A source told New York Magazine that Rachel Ray stormed onto the set of her next Dunkin Donuts Coffee commercial and snapped at everyone:

“Not news, I know, everyone knows she's actually a gigantic asshole. BUT! I am also told she took one sip of her Dunkin' Donuts coffee, yelled “What is this shit? Get me MY coffee,” and would not continue until she was given “her” coffee — i.e., Starbucks.”

Everyone knows that these perky successful bitches like Martha Stewart, Oprah, Barbara Walters, Reece Witherspoon and Rachel Ray are rancid, hate filled death traps underneath the smile. The Food Network is full of them. I refuse to believe that Paula Deen isn’t a crippling task master even though no one will report about it. Maybe they’re too afraid. Paula Deen is probably the worst out of all of them and I am pretty much convinced she carries a gun.
Giada isn’t so much a bitch as she is a slab of heavily marinated tuna. She’s just an insecure ho who smiles too much and crumbles whenever there’s any pressure to perform. When she was on Iron Chef she practically cried. I’m surprised Bobby Flay didn’t stomp her face into the ground but it would actually have been bad for the show to have him loose his psychotic mind and go nuts beating her into the ground even after she had passed out. Like, he couldn’t stop because he’d lose control and think she was his violent father or something. Yeah, something calming like that. Giada has a hot brother though. It’s just that he seemed a bit mind numbingly boring.

Whatever, it’s just good that we get to hear about the hate beneath the smile when it comes to Rachel. Last time there was that hooker story about her husband it was really enchanting. I miss that feeling of enchantment and here it is back again. Thank you anonymous source. [source]

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