Monday, January 07, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Customs officials in France have seized 224,000 fake Viagra and Cialis pills which were traveling from Brazil to India. This isn’t actually an Oddball story at all. I was looking up Oddball stories and this came up but I think the only reason it’s considered oddball is because they’re Viagra. Because of Viagra the story becomes a cross between say, a news report and an episode of the Benny Hill Show. I mean, as if this would be interesting if it were doll parts or human eyes. Ok, human eyes would be interesting but I mean you probably wouldn’t be shipping those parcel post. You’d stack them in ice etc. Eyes are complicated to ship. [source]

A dog in Austria was put in a Veterinary clinic at the weekend because it could barely walk due mostly to the fact that it had drunk a whole lot of beer. The dog had dreadful wind and diarrhea, and was vomiting a lot," the dog’s owner said. "When I got him up on the table, it smelt like a distillery." There’s really nothing more calming that reading about a dog that is erupting matter from all orifices first thing Monday and for that reason I thank the dear Austrian people who made this happen. I’m also interested in how a dog acts when it is drunk. My old red-neck asshole neighbour told me he used to get these miniature ponies drunk by force feeding them beer and I thought it was appalling. After that I undermined his credibility with all the other neighbours and eventually he left. That’s almost nearly what happened. I embellished. I mean, what business to miniature ponies have in getting drunk? Plus, what kind of dumb ass pet owner would let his freaking dog get drunk? A dumb ass pet owner, that’s what kind. [source]

Last week, the Malaysian Health Minister Chua Soi Lek admitted that he was the one in a DVD having sex with a woman who was not his wife and resigned. This week, people were betting on the number of the hotel room in which the tape was made but bookies are all of a sudden refusing to allow people to bet on that. “The last time we accepted bets after a particular set of numbers was published on the front page of a Chinese daily, we were badly hit and lost several million ringgit," says a bookie source. Apparently people bet on all kinds of crap. Like, how many people die in major weather tragedies. Isn’t that lovely? While some people are dying, other people are biting their nails to hope that the number of dead is correct so they can buy more crap. Actually, it sort of balances out in a way. People die, people laugh. [source]

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