Friday, January 18, 2008

According to random sources who are never identified by the reporter who wrote the item on TMZ, Britney Spears’ adoption of an English accent is actually a symptom of her multiple personality disorder. According to the no doubt highly qualified expert “source”, Brit will start using the accent and then when she stops “she has absolutely no idea what she did during the time she assumed that personality.” goes on to list that Brit also has "the weepy girl, the diva, the incoherent girl," and there are apparently more but TMZ stopped short of naming them. Probably out of responsibility.

This has got to be a milestone in the reportage of Britney Spears. It was already the case that news and gossip sites were breathlessly reporting pretty much any rumour as fact by attributing it to “sources close to Spears” and then moving on to the next story within hours so accountability was meaningless.

Plus, let’s not also forget that US Weekly has just reported that the Associated Press has got Britney’s Obituary ready to go.

“We are not wishing it, but if Britney passed away, it’s easily one of the biggest stories in a long time," AP entertainment editor Jesse Washington tells Us Weekly”

Even that tired old bitter hag Mr. Blackwell opted out of including her in his Worst Dressed List for 2007. He was quoted a saying:

"For those of you who were expecting to see Britney's name adorn the 2007 list, I felt that it was inappropriate at this time to make comment, when her personal life is in such upheaval. I hope 2008 is a better year for her."

Oh wait. Actually, no. We haven’t reached the pinnacle of alarming yet. The pinnacle of alarming is publishing photos of Britney getting out of a car with a close up of her blood stained vagina. There go those pregnancy rumours. Sorry. Now we’re officially all losing our minds.
So, to recap: Its alleged multiple personality disorder, generally accepted pending tragic death and public menstruation for Mademoiselle Spears.

Is this star breakdown unprecedented? If Britney were Andy Kauffman then the whole thing would be art. [source] [source] [source] [source]

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