Monday, January 28, 2008

Photos of Nicole Richie suggest that she’s lost all her baby weight a mere 2 weeks after giving birth. Of course she has, she was already just an animated sack of skin and bone, then she got pregnant, the baby probably caused her to become like one of those completely cyclic eco systems that live in a glass sphere. There’s a plant that gives off oxygen and there’s some water and whatever the hell else there is there and there’s no need for air holes because all the elements inside the ball create just enough of everything for everything else.

That’s what happened to her body. She was a death ridden stick, she got pregnant, ate only enough for the baby, the baby was born, she had nothing left to lose because the baby exited her body with any excess.

Either that or they called in a plastic surgeon to suck and staple and sew her back into her old body right after she’d given birth so it was like an all in one fix-em-up stay in hospital.

After all that, I really resent that I had to type her name actually. I really resent that. I swore I wouldn’t do that until she did something like get a degree in International Relations and go to Rwanda. Here we are though, god, I’ve really failed. [source]

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