Friday, January 18, 2008

Page Six reports that 50 Cent is set to inter view Paris Hilton, Barbara Walters-style, for the MySpace Celebrity artist-on-artist program from the MySpace Cafe at the Lift on Sunday and I know I’ll be stapling my eyes open to ensure I get every freaking second of that little moment of online genius.

Firstly, how is Paris an artist? This interview really doesn’t fit the title of “artist on artist” seeing as it’d be far more accurate to describe the segment as “performative gangster douchebag with massively unchecked ego ON pointless ex-zeitgeist air head culture vacuum”. If it were actually named that I would watch it.

Wait, I stand corrected. When Paris was about to go into jail she stopped by some plaster workshop in a stripmall in LA and sat there, I swear she seemed stoned out of her mind, painting some freaking massive plaster bear. I guess that could be considered art; painting a bear. She really did get stuck into painting a bear. A plaster bear. That painted plaster bear probably brought her so much joy and then she probably gave that painted plaster bear to some freaking kid as a gift. Or to her mother who gave her a gold star. For the bear. Ok, great. No more bear.

Meanwhile, what the hell is that interview going to sound like anyway:

“Yo. Sup?”

“Heeee hee eheheheeeeee”

“Yeah…you hot.”

“Huhuhu heeeeeheeee, that’s hot. Wow. Fitty. I’m so glad to be here.”

“Yeah. I got shot.”

“Wow, yeah. I’m really happy and sweet.”




Oh fucking hell. Just poison the water already. I mean, this is more or less the same thing as genocide. I’m totally watching it. [source]

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