Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

A St. Louis-area town is considering a bill that would ban swearing in bars, along with table-dancing, drinking contests and profane music. Isn’t that great? We all know what happens when you ban human expression; purity and happiness. St. Louis should expect a real boom in tourism and a real plunge in teenaged crime. I can’t wait to go to St. Louis. I’ve thought about it quite often and now that they’re banning the only antidote to the averageness of the town I’ll definitely be spending as much time there as possible. Now I will be able to focus on learning more about the local Eastern Gray Squirrel and the Cottontail Rabbit. [source]

Eight dead and live mice were found on a United Airlines flight from Washington to Beijing, the General Administration of Quality Supervision, Inspection and Quarantine(AQSIQ) said. I actually have a feeling my cousin is the pilot on that flight so I wonder if he was all freaked out by the squealing back in Economy and the women fainting and men leaning over them with smelling salts. When you think about it, all they really needed was like ten large ravenous snakes on that plane and the problem would have been solved. I always thought that movie, “Snakes on a Plane” sounded like a schlock waste of time and here I am learning I was wrong. I’m not afraid to admit things like that. [source]

Yesterday a drunk assed dog was taken to a vet in Austria and now I find out that a 59-year-old Austrian man has been arrested for faking illnesses and injuries so that he could live rent-free in hospitals for the past two years. He'd been unemployed for 21 years. What the hell is going on with people in Austria and the abuse of the medical system. I suppose a drunk dog is more the victim of abuse here but it’s still in Austria so I’m trying to tie the two stories together. You know what though, somewhere in America there is a Republican sitting in their brown synthetically upholstered armchair finding out about this story and they’re using it as confirmation that socialized medicine is a bad thing. This is while they hope their broken leg heals without treatment so they can go back to work down the mine. [source]

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