Friday, January 18, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Ever since Knut, the celebrity polar bear from the Berlin Zoo bowed out of the spotlight so he could be socialized with other bears his own age and not end up like Lindsay Lohan and working in a morgue after a DUI, the Germans have not let go of the idea of another celebrity polar bear so the good folks at the Nuremberg Zoo have held a competition to name another one they’ve been flogging. 25,000 people voted and they’re going to announce the name this afternoon. I don’t have time to wait until this afternoon so I’m going to assume they’ll name it something like Caca or Popo or BangFace. They will NOT name that bear Julia or Simone. That we can be assured of. Still, it’s nice to have a celebrity polar bear out there to marvel at while Britney is busy menstruating for all the world to see. [source]

In response to a survey in the UK that showed pretty much every kid ever was petrified of clowns, a collective of clowns have shot back that kids DO like them. "The 'universe' of 250 children used for the Sheffield University study was miniscule compared to the 250,000 one-to-one bedside visits made by Clown Care to hospitalized children annually," said Joel Dein, director of communications at the Big Apple Circus in New York. Well, of COURSE the clowns are saying they are liked. I mean, how else can they continue their evil work if it’s statistically proven that everyone is afraid of them. It’s time to be vigilant of clown work. Vigilant in the same way that one must be vigilant of Bill O’Reilly. [source]

Along with used books, second-hand computers, radios and sports equipment, a human skull went on sale at a Belgrade flea market but found no buyers and frankly I find that astonishing. I’ve been trying to find a human skull for use in my evening demonic rejuvenation rituals and they’re not easy to find. Most skeletons are plastic these days because the trade in real ones was banned due to “unpleasantness”. I mean, I’m assuming it was because of "unpleasantness". The guy in Belgrade was asking 100 Euros for it which is really quite steep. What is that, 4 trillion American dollars? [source]

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