Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are apparently so fascinating and clean and pure and worthwhile to the American teen and pre-teen public that their relationship warrants an entire magazine that documents it and it’s coming to get us from news stands on Oct 2. Wow, Hudgens, way to transcend the filth of nude photos and be involved in one of the most totally inane cultural artifacts since the Tamagochi.

What the hell is IN a magazine that is entirely focused on the corporately constructed union between a squeaky clean teen musical heartthrob and his recently sullied gal pal. A whole lot of LA style shiny teeth and relentless, Prozac propped up smiles. The greatest thing about the cover of Zanessa (whoever came up with that title deserves an Academy Award ) is the way Zac Efron’s stomach is slightly visible because his t shirt is just above his waistband. That could be a metaphor for the national American notion of desire. Just enough to be there but not enough to mean an unsafe response happens. And furthermore, am I the only one who thinks this magazine cover looks like it could just as easily have been a breakfast cereal rather than a magazine? I mean, kids eat breakfast cereal too.

Wow, and look it’s not just your teen version of Brangelina that’s featured in the mag, it’s all your favourite High School Musical 2 stars! I’m dying! Literally, I mean. I just quickly smashed my faced on the keyboard so many times I am now unconscious. Thank GOD. I will, however, have to get this “n” key repaired. [source]

1 comment:

Sabina England, Playwright said...

god, you're telling me. I can't believe there are "tweens" out there who like this garbage shit. When I was a teenager in high school, I often made fun of plastic blonde bimbo whores and preppy boys in my school cos they suck...big major dick! I still don't see the fake shiny appeal that these cunts have.