The Reluctant Whore

I missed this last week for some reason so here it is late: Oprah split up with Stedman and gave him 250 million dollars to keep quiet about their relationship – that’s one thing. The other thing is that she’s apparently just decided to make sure there is 30 million bucks lying around if she dies, to take care of her dogs for the rest of their lives.
What is with these wealthy control freak women and their insistence on leaving crap loads of money to dogs? First there’s Leona Helmsley and now Oprah. Oprah’s not even dead or close TO death and she’s not only solidified the deal, she’s also trumped the 12 million dollars Helmsley left to her dog Trouble by leaving 30 million to her dogs. 30 million.
What exactly do dogs need that would cost anywhere near 1 million dollars over 50 years let alone 30 million over probably no more than 20 years. Lets face it, the dogs aren’t going to live more than 20 years all up anyway, even with the kind of relentless all encompassing doting that Oprah is capable of. Unless Oprah has visions of keeping them alive indefinitely for some ego based reason.
Oprah has no kids so – a la that freak Winchester woman who kept building her mystery house - if she can just keep those dogs alive forever, her legacy will never die. She could strap mics to their heads and have producers film them driving cross country with THEIR freeloading unlikeable friends and keep her show going. Actually, yes – why not just insist that her show be continued for years after she dies but instead of her corpse being viewed on stage she just had her maddeningly over indulged dogs. She could fund that show so that it doesn’t cost anyone anything by setting up a trust now.
That would actually be the greatest, most insane thing ever. All she needs is that genius little stipulation in the will that if anyone contests her wishes they are ex-communicated from her world of TV produced spiritual forward thinking propaganda.
And, then the Stedman thing. Yeah, so he gets 250 million never to talk. He can’t really anyway because even if he writes the book, there’s no way it would sell 250 million bucks worth. Even if it did, his credibility would be shot because it’s such a cheap and tawdry idea. Then, if he wanted a career as anything more than a fishing boat barnacle scraper in the jungles of Venezuela she could thwart him every step of the way and have his face peeled off and heavily salted in the middle of the night and she’d never get caught either. She sort of owns the whole idea of justice. Or, she’ll buy it before she kicks his ass. [source]