Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

This was from the weekend but I only found it now but I think it’s still great. I’ve always thought that if Russia could only re-create itself as a tropical island but keep everything else the same it would be the perfect place for me to write the great novel from wherever it is I feel like I’m from these days. You’d have the stone, vodka, pig fat, poverty, mafia, potato, bluntness, Shostakovich and a delightful run of sunny, sandy beaches on which to play. Imagine my sheer and unhindered delight when I realized that actually Russia is in fact sinking several billion dollars into a building project that WILL be Russia but on an island. The island is called Federation Island and it should be ready in time for the 2014 Olympics. Thank GOD. [source]

An hilarious Australian bar woman was in court for serving customers beers with a shot of disinfectant in it as a joke. She literally got shots of hard core disinfectant and fed it to a man at the bar and her line of defense is that is was simply a misguided joke. The thing about Australia is that you can use that type of defense there. When I worked in a bar in Sydney I served a guy 2 shots of vodka for every one he ordered and every time he reached out to get his drink I would smile and insist that he to explain to me how much of a crippling failure he was before I’d let him drink the pain away. I got asked what I was doing and I said it was a joke. No one cared. If you’re not laughing in Australia then you’re causing sadness. Laughter is like an anti-terrorism initiative. It’s run on fear. Now, idiot freak who drank the crap is another matter. What the hell are you doing drinking detox. Get a fucking life idiot. [source]

New York Magazine reports that a new restaurant called Hakata TonTon is opening up in New York where collagen is on the menu. Way to go restaurant! One of the best ways to get noticed is to serve a dish that costs a stupid amount of money and isn’t worth it OR serve something that is meant to dissolve self esteem problems. Usually beauty treatments are marketed entirely as just that; treatments like the fish that eat dead skin off your psoriasis infected skin or the lecithin injections or the bull semen in the hair. This way, you get to eat collagen in a restaurant in the form of pig foot AND feel like you’re getting hotter. New Yorkers love to multi-task so being able to eat, restrict calories by eating pig cartilage, be seen in a hot new restaurant AND get battle fine lines and wrinkles at the same time should appeal enormously. The article says that shark cartilage was too expensive to sell in New York. What crap, nothing’s too expensive to sell in New York. [source]

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