Monday, September 24, 2007

So Marcia Brady apparently never ate out Jan Brady behind the scenes of the Brady Bunch. Sadly. Last week it was reported that Maureen McCormick’s new book was to detail her mild lesbian affair with Eve Plum while they were filming the Brady Bunch and so, naturally, everyone got all excited. The publisher of her book, however, has stated that these rumours aren’t true. What a jip. Why couldn’t that have happened? I mean, everything else apparently did on that show.

Still it makes sense that she might leak that rumour though. The “pull back the curtain of sparkling American values to reveal the less than pure, entirely human underbelly for shock value” technique is a surefire way to get press in America right now – especially if you’re from something as inanely polished as the Brady Bunch. America has such a hard time with facing the reality of where it’s at culturally right now that if news of another icon of one dimensional purity being corrupted by lesbianism is leaked it will inspire predictable immediate shock. Teenaged lesbianism is so typical and common that America has no choice but to find it entirely horrifying and is therefore engaged by its own horrifying reflection.

What the hell kind of tell all book drums up press with leaks about what’s not included because those things never happened? Wouldn’t you choose an anecdote that was both engaging and included? Wasn’t there a time when say, McCormick walked into Florence Henderson’s dressing room and caught her smoking some pot while getting a foot rub from a naked Mexican midget? I can totally see that happening. Actually, I can see pretty much anything happening. Hell, at least she had bulimia. [source]

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