Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Fox News reports that Britney must now “temporarily” hand over her kids to K-Fed after a surprise fat witness testified about how she seems to have issues relating to “drug use”, “nudity”, and safety. What the hell kind of totally vague issues are “nudity” and “safety”? Drug use maybe but the others?

What crap!

The object of the game right now is to hammer the crap out of Britney and cash in and the guy who testified was fired by Britney when he didn’t pick up her hat. He was out of a job for basically nothing and it stressed him out, clearly, because without a job it would have been impossible to maintain such a mammoth physical circumference. Hell, he probably lost weight while he wasn’t working and now its pay back time.

Britney was also just dropped by her management company, “The Firm” because they said they were unable to do their job with her. K-Fed is one lucky assed freeloading douchebag who is still admittedly pretty hot. All he’s had to do so far is not go out and now he’s going to cash in as well.

Britney’s sanity seemed to have checked out a while ago and now that she’s losing her kids along with her management, career and probably eventually all her money and dignity, oddly enough she may be able to finally reach the crux point of insanity where she can actually turn around and make something work. It’s sort of how things work when celebrities get to a certain saturation point.

Paris Hilton had the same kind of thing when it comes to saturation points. When Paris went to jail and came out and it was a complete media blitz and even journalists were refusing to talk about her anymore she reached the point of ludicrous saturation. It started to decline for her after the saturation point had been reached. She started to actually operate in a way where the product she put out was in proportion to her actual talent and ability.

As her public appeal started to slide down the proverbial hill, she launched a clothing line that was essentially forgotten and then she accepted a role in an ironic b-grade musical entitled “Repo! The Genetic Opera" in which she will only be acceptable if she completely lampoons herself. Talent wise, Paris is actually a modern day Joan Collins. All forced mainstream sexuality and no substance besides the odd ironic slap.

If this had all happened in a third world country they would have considered her a religious deity but because she was in LA she was just a newsworthy celebrity.

Same basic deal with Britney. She can’t be the covertly sexualized school girl and pretty, heavily constructed corporate pop product anymore so with the complete disintegration of her entire life the only thing she can do is become a slightly more complex, slightly erratic acoustic musician who wears hessian, doesn’t wash her hair or use deodorant and who sings about “issues” through poetry. She should learn to play piano or guitar. Incidentally, doesn't the kid look sort of like that weird monster that came out of the stomach of that guy from Total Recall? I can't stop thinking about it. [source]

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