The Reluctant Whore

Tony Baretto, the alarmingly fat witness who is testifying that he saw Britney abuse drugs on numerous occasions was just interviewed by Matt Lauer on the Today Show and it was another one of those scenarios like the Larry King interview with Melanie Brown regarding the child she has with Eddie Murphy. There’s really no reason why an ex employee of Britney’s should come forward to cause her pain other than to get her back for firing him. She says he didn’t pick up a hat when she asked him to. He says he didn’t hear her. Judging by his size, would it have been possible for him to pick anything up at all? Only science would really be able to ascertain that.

What we can ascertain now, however, is that the security guard, when asked why he was doing this at all, essentially deferred to his lawyer, Gloria Allred. Allred explained that it was because the security guard has two children of his own and he was concerned as a father. Actually, she said, “Because he’s the father of…” and because she’s a pushy American corporate showbiz lawyer who appears on TV it actually sounded like she was going to say, “Because HE is the father of her two children…” which would have made the entire thing so much more interesting than the repetitive vomit spill mop up it so relentlessly is at the moment.

It’s so great to watch attention hungry people stutter and trip over themselves in their attempt to find an alternate answer to the question, “Why are you doing this?” when the honest answer is really something like, “Because I’m an attention whore and I’ll probably get to skip the line, get a few drinks out of it and possibly launch my singing career.” [source]