Maybe all hope is not entirely lost for a spectacular bile spilling breakdown for Britney. Sure, the madness has been kept at bay by the fact that she’s still got the kids but after being told to clean up her ridiculous act she was seen out drinking almost immediately.
I think it’s perfectly clear what is happening here, Britney is becoming the new Pete Doherty.
That can only be a really good thing for everyone. Brit needs to update the celebrity model Doherty has pioneered though because Pete never quite exploded. He’s never really reached a point where he is lying in a pool of his own blood and feces surrounded by needles, one second from death at which point he finally decides to cut out the Jack Daniels and smack and at least attempt some Kombucha and gym work. As a result, the trajectory of our interested in him piqued at “Pete Doherty forced his cat to take crack.” I mean, something’s got to give. How the hell long are we supposed to stare at a half dead super model dating, pet abusing crack addict alcoholic repeatedly defy physics and the law before it gets boring?
So, hopefully with Britney Spears she’ll actually soil herself in front of the Queen of England and fall over in it and somehow end up eating her own soil (!) with a drink in her hand, will get photographed and then she can disappear for a year, we can all move on and before long she can stage a big return with her own one woman show where she tells it like it really is wearing no shoes on stage.
I can’t believe I wrote that about her eating her own soil and I actually decided to use the word "soil". It's so visceral and warm. [source]