Thursday, September 27, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Courts in China sentenced three people to death this week for killing their lovers with rat poison. The most glamorous of the three is the one who put a capsule full of rat poison in her mouth moments before she went to kiss her lover and then when she kissed him, she made him swallow it. She did this because she was pretty sure he was cheating on her. That’s pretty cool film noir of her even if she is a psychopath murderer. I mean, it’s probably just your average gelatin capsule which she put together herself so she was taking a risk by doing it in the first place. What if he suddenly had to use the bathroom prior to their kiss? She would have died instead because the capsule would have dissolved. I bet she spent a lot of her life running cautiously through alleyways wettened with relentless rain at the night while wearing a black Chanel suit, black stilettos and red lipstick. Also, she ran in black and white too. [source]
A Nigerian witchdoctor has been arrested after being employed by politicians to perform rituals near an election tribunal. Politics is really interesting in this sense in Africa. In America the same basic thing happens on many levels including religious panic but even Republicans here haven’t had the gall to employ priests to stand around shrieking. Kudos to the Nigerians for cutting to the theatrical chase. The thing is though, if you’re a Nigerian politician who has managed to rig an election and the only thing you can think of doing is hiring a quack in a feathered headpiece who dances about a pot filled with a rabbit and some eggs then the problem probably goes far beyond corruption. [source]
The Japanese have been churning out the quality material of late – what with the restaurant where you can have sex with the pig you’re about to eat before it is slaughtered and the soap that comes in the shape of dessert – but they have clearly decided not to rest on their laurels. The newest offering from Japan is called Adult Milk and it is on sale for 43 dollars a pint. The Milk is designed to relieve stress as it is only collected in the morning meaning that it has three times the usual level of melatonin in it than regular milk. That totally explains why it costs 43 times the cost of a regular pint. The weird part about this is that melatonin helps you to sleep, it doesn’t relieve stress. Well, it relieves stress in the sense that it knocks you out and you don’t feel the stress. So, this should really be called knockout milk. People would buy this product in New York. Actually, let’s re-consider that. Some people would buy it and some people would base their lives on not buying it. What an interesting place New York is. [source]

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