The Reluctant Whore

Paris Hilton going to jail, for Paris, has sort of been like accepting imminent death through cancer. As in, the kind that is pending but generally agreed upon. She fought, she was angry, she cried, she bought things, she fucked the pain away…presumably…she painted a couple of ceramic bears. It’s classic human process, especially the bear painting.

Now, with only a few days left before going inside, she seems to be facing it full on with the news, so graciously delivered to us by TMZ.com, that she is hiring a stylist to make her look “conviction chic” on her way into the clink. Additionally, reports include mention of a kitten being passed and some tears (we can’t be sure of whether or not they’ll be real or glycerin), her sister’s playing a supporting role…the whole thing is a major production.

Of course, as it was predicted here WEEKS ago, if Paris plays her cards right she can expect that prison will be merely an incubating cocoon for her celebrity metamorphosis into a celebu-beast even more powerful than she is now. Her plans to write a diary on the inside and the fact that the day she gets out she’s already sold her post jail appearance in St Tropez for the launch of a brand of canned Prosecco and the owners of which are no doubt paying through the nose for the attention their product will get when it’s in the hand of a freshly freed Paris.

Paris has compartmentalized it and sold it all ahead of time. That’s the old Paris we knew. They’ll need to hire a stylist for the plane to St Tropez though. 23 days in the clink with no stylist will mean some nasty nasty stubble. [source] [source]