The Reluctant Whore

Paris Hilton’s parents went to see her and she’s apparently really cold. They made the genius observation that they thought she might have a broken arm because she was rubbing it which is what she would be doing if she had a broken arm. In fact, maybe she should test it out by slamming it on the desk a few times, perhaps hitting it with a hammer and then whacking it into her own face until she breaks her own face. Oh, wait. Ok, that was just unnecessary. To recap – get out your freaking pencils and papers to write this down; the Hilton parents thought Paris’ arm was broken because she was rubbing it and also she’s cold. Great. Incidentally, have a look at the source because if you look at what time it was published it's sort of alarming. 4AM. someone was awake to publish that. It's that important. Someone is now going to sleep all day because they were awake until 4am so they could publish this story. [source]