Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

As of today, the limited edition Ice Cucumber flavoured Pepsi is the new black in chemically complex sodas in Japan and on some level it makes sense. What’s astounding about these limited edition drinks is that they all taste like sadness. They’re always a beverage abomination that tastes like glorified cough syrup. But don’t take my word for it, here’s a man living in Japan who comes to the same conclusion I have but he’s actually tried it:


In what could possibly be the most telling development in the story surrounding the New York judge who is currently suing a dry cleaner for the reduced rate of 54 million bucks because they lost his pants; the judge sat in court and cried over his pants. The memory of those pants is what he was crying over. Maybe they were his thin pants, maybe they had a nacho cheese stain on the left knee from his first date with his wife, maybe that triggered the memory that his wife left him because he’s a delusional halfwit. Maybe he, of all people, should know that this law suit, a literal pants suit if you will, is a totally waste of time and public money. Maybe he’s completely insane and unhinged. There are so many options. [source]

If a nursing home for dogs opened up on the Upper East Side, it would be kind of eye roll worthy and you’d just kind of scoff and then get on with your day. That was basically the same reaction I had when I learned that a Japanese nursing home for dogs has just opened. The thing is, this is the equivalent of a UFO sighting but for people with money. What’s to do? What’s to do? Oh, we’ll just open a retirement home for dogs. Oh, why not? It’s better than pureeing the dog and then canning it and feeding it back to other dogs. That would create a master race of freakishly strong super dogs who would take over the world and we really don’t want that. [source]

A 50 ton whale was caught and buried deep in the neck fat, if whales have necks that is, was a 19th Century harpoon of sorts. It was thrust into the whale but obviously if got away and lived for another hundred years. Best quote ever:
The 49-foot male whale died when it was shot with a similar projectile last month, and the older device was found buried beneath its blubber as hunters carved it with a chain saw for harvesting.
They’re carving the whale to harvest its fat. Harvest. [source]


Sharmain said...
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Monica Hamburg said...

Re: Pepsi - It's always baffling when they try to make something taste like a fruit or vegetable and fail so miserably...

And why someone who is craving something as healthful as a cucumber would actually drink a pepsi is beyond me.

Basically: wrong on so many levels.