The Reluctant Whore

It’s weird that Samantha Ronson would write an open letter on her myspace blog addressing the inappropriateness of Candy Spelling’s recent open letters. Particularly when a major component of her open letter focused on the fact that open letters themselves are flawed.

That aside, it all seemed almost pre-meditated with the reference to Texas, something people only do when they want massed, mindless attention:

does she honestly think anyone cares what she has to say? wait... do u think people care what she has to say? maybe there is a market for her.... hmmm, maybe somewhere in texas, perhaps?

So, then you cue the mouthpieces from Texas who responded by saying:

Hey! Don't eff with Texas Samantha! You're treading on thin ice babe!

But Ronson swiftly deals with the accusation really flawlessly:

i meant no offense to those kind texan folks.... it's just the biggest state and i figured maybe she could get lost there..... i love texas- i celebrated my 5th birthday there- my first birthday in the US- 6 flags over texas was the first amusement park i ever went to!!! believe me- i ain't mad at texas!!!!

Quick, trot out the innocent childhood memories to disarm the wounded moralizing Texan moose. Jesus, you’re not running for president, Ronson, just say it: The stereotype is that Texas is full of dumb inbred hicks who are too stupid to know that Candy Spelling’s open letters are chatter from a vastly wealthy LA housewife and furthermore, Texas is essentially the cultural source upon which George Bush draws to stay in power. That’s it. That’s what she meant.

So, in short, this story has all the necessary components to make it truly irritating on a really primeval level. Celebrity piggy backing, inane dialogue, blatant hypocrisy, angry/patriotic Texans threatening people, weird old people and veiled lesbianism that will never be truly qualified. [source]