With all our saccharine pop characters falling about the place, incoherently uncapable of churning out the usual product, we’ve been left with a distinct lack of tooth assaulting base level music to listen to. That’s why it’s great that the vastly talented, vastly dehydrated imploding robot, Victoria Beckham, has released a track which attempts to set the record straight about just who she is. Because we were all convinced there was some depth there. Yes, it just hadn't been discovered. So she sings:
Forget what yooooooooou’ve heard, about the goooooood girl.
That would be anorexia and a piercing chav accent remarkably hidden by a billion dollars worth of clothes and ludicrously out of proportion breast implants.
It’s good to notice the effort she’s putting into pronouncing her words though. Much like her outward appearance, the track has been produced and polished to death so it's about a million light years away from being an accurate recording of her voice. [source]