Friday, June 01, 2007

Today In Extraordinarily Odd - Super edition

Damien Hirst continues his Paris Hilton esque tantrum within the art world with the unveiling of his latest piece, a life sized cast of a human skull made entirely of platinum and then encrusted with 8601 diamonds. It’s said to be worth a hundred million US dollars. This is, admittedly, so much more interesting than his tired, intern completed paintings of medication from two years ago. [source]

Excavators in Japan have found a slab of melon which is not only apparently 2100 years old, it’s also not rotten or putrid, which of course, would have been a nice treat. Especially seeing as it was probably a hot day out there in Western Japan and the kids who volunteer on the dig had been working really hard but the budget didn’t allow for a tropical themed cocktail party. With the discovery of this 2100 year old melon, everyone could party it up and still be learning. [source]

On advice from a witchdoctor in a small town in India, a family has exhumed the body of their dead son in the hopes that he can be revived. I’m just reading Christopher Hitchens new book “God Is Not Great. How Religion Poisons Everything” and as a result I would put money on the fact that that freaked out insane fuck of a witchdoctor is a necrophiliac pederast. Or something equally deranged. Still, how exactly are they doing this? With some moisturizer and a couple of car jumper leads attached to a celebrity and a combi van with the engine running? This is a reality show waiting to happen. It’s a 7 part series leading up to the final moment when the dead kid is either enlivened or remains dead. Which will it be? Tune in to find out! Then vote Republican! Wow, that’s enough. [source]

Further evidence of staggering genius that can only be the result of inane religious morality erupts out of India with news that a couple of lawyers tied a man to a tree and beat him mercilessly simply because he refused to marry one of their relatives. What is clear, if nothing else, is that she was probably morbidly obese and had fucked up teeth and so the lawyers had been trying to sell her for years and were at their wits end. Similarly, the 22 year old reluctant husband was simply protecting himself from a lifetime of bedtime horror. There are no winners and losers here. Only freaked out idiots who have lost touch with the rational parts of their brains. [source]

After his cow drowned in a massed grave in Bosnia, a farmer has decided to sue because the government has failed to fill in that massed grave since it was dug out in 1995. Look, there’s a lot of failure going on here. Firstly, what was the cow doing NEAR a massed grave? The farmer failed to pay attention to where his cow was wandering. Why was there a massed grave in the first place? Governmental failure to provide adequate singular graves. Why did the people die in the first place? Hateful religious based intolerance and murder. We think the cow might have been already dead and he thought he could earn some money off it," prosecutor Mirsad Bilajac told Reuters. If that really is the case, then this story is just a case of mad old Eastern European farmer ranting about his cow. So, either it’s a moral saturated story or it’s a genius British comedy sketch.[source]

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