The Reluctant Whore

Whoa, did somebody say heavily marinated baked ham? Well, no, but if you look at the most recent shots of Britney Spears’ ass on TMZ it’s hard to think of anything else. I can’t remember for sure but I have this feeling people call her kid tator tot and the other one something else that’s meant to be fast food cute. Probably something like cholesterol and corn syrup packed, deep fried heart disease cake pie or something.

Anyway, with the basted ham that is Britney’s ass and the kids that are fried cake/potato – well, it’s like the family is a white trash meal. In metaphor only (otherwise it would be unhealthy cannibalism and that would be unpleasant for all involved). Kevin Federline was the scrappy cheap beef. Too much gristle and sinew.

I’m almost tempted to not even post this because it’s such a pointless and inane thing to write about but I still think that comparing Britney’s ass to a basted, heavily marinated ham is funny. Like, I’m laughing out loud as I write this. Because I’m infantile and she’s a multi millionaire.