The Indian state of Bihar is currently dealing with an epidemic of rats, sort of. The rats are specifically going to the trouble of gnawing through beer cans and the lids of bottles of liquor and then they get drunk. Who knows what a drunk rat looks like or what it does but you can bet that the epidemic will only get worse in the coming months as the millions of unwanted rat pregnancies start to yield their young. It’s what happens when rats get drunk and just go out partying. Maybe they’re trying to self-medicate. After all, it can’t be easy being possibly the most hated of all animals. Also, there was the whole black plague unpleasantness that they probably can’t live down. Incidentally, this study found that nicotine sobers up rats so maybe they need to leave cigarettes lying around or start handing them out at parties. Rat parties. [source]
The genius minds behind the capitalist ventures in China that were aiming to sell land on the moon have been in court again, this time appealing the court decision to disallow their plans to sell green plastic bags that have been filled with air supposedly extracted from the stadiums in which the World Cup was played. These people are the pushy small time vendor versions of the National Enquirer. They sort of have to exist or else we cease to recall that in fact, there is always someone more pathetic and desperate than us. Let them sell air and parts of the galaxy they don’t own. In fact, strap a camera to their eyelashes and sell the footage to VH1. [source]
There was a burglary in Somerset, PA where a door was kicked in and a knife was angrily stabbed into that door and left there as a monument to unbridled rage and yet, the only thing stolen was a bowl of salad. The only type of person who would do that is a Republican. Like a Mormon Republican or something. Just a real control freak. Oh, what am I saying. A GAY Republican. God, the pieces all fit. [source]
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