Friday, June 15, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

After the unpleasantness that followed the outrageous dethroning of Miss Spain simply because she was a mother, the rules have been changed to include trannies and mothers in the Miss Spain contest. Seeing as the entire notion of beauty contests are so utterly base and totally about bland, grunt level mainstream hetero male desire – but with no soul left in it – this is now a genius game. Namely, as you and your buddies sat in a bar oogling the contestants; which of you were attracted most to the contestant who used to be a man and which of you liked the woman who has a kid at home. The winner is the one whose fantasy instinctively avoids complicated questions about their sexuality in front of the guys and/or the one who avoids having to look after someone else’s spawn. [source]

A study conducted by Stanford University has shown that gastric bypass surgery lessens the body’s ability to process alcohol and so you get drunker faster and you stay that way and ultimately hung over, longer. Forget the hangover part – this really just goes to show that gastric bypass surgery is the depressed hooker’s miracle treatment. You stay thin and fuckable and you don’t have to work so hard to keep the harrowing reality of your life at bay through drinking; one vodka stinger and you’re good to go. Or, better yet, you pass out and let them do their sinful business. Either way. [source]

A 73 year old tycoon in Malaysia named Goh Koon Suan built his mistress a house and when they split she sued him and a judge ruled that she has rights too and that she gets to keep the house. "You squeezed her like a lemon and later cast her aside like an old shoe," Judge Gopal Sri Ram of the Court of Appeals was quoted as telling Go in hruling. "Surely you cannot use her like that and later claim she has no right," he said. The only problem here is that mistresses ARE juice laden lemons and eventually old shoes. They cease to be mistresses the minute men are forced to treat them like humans. So much for clear and defined infidelity techniques. [source]

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